If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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