I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
