I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
