I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
