Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
