"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
