ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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