I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
