Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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