Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
