Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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