If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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