I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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