Can i not drive my cunt home
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
