We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
