thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
