You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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