I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
