is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
