on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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