he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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