Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
