Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
