Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
