Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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