i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Randomize
