Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
