Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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