Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
