i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
