question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
