I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
