Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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