guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
