I am puke
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
