when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
