We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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