so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize