return my video game
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
