On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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