But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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