i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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