Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
