I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
