Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
