Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Duck Duck Cougar?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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