I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Couch. On fire.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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