I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize