I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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