I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
