Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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