she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
