then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
