Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
