so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
