What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
