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The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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