Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
