She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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