sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
