Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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