My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
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