you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
